For the Fangirls
by Roxi2Star
Summary: A message from Antonio and Lovino, to you fangirls!
1. Chapter 1

A single spot light on an empty stage, where red velvet curtains are drawn. Some movement, and some curses are heard from behind the curtains, then two men come through the center. The taller of the two was a handsome man, with tan skin, curly, messy brown hair and intense, but not unfriendly green eyes. The other had neat lighter brown hair, with a ware ward curl, olive skin and golden eyes. The two were nicely dressed, but not over dressed. The taller began to speak.

"Hola! Antonio and Lovino here~ We're just out here with a message and a bit of advice from the lovely Roxi2Star." Antonio said his ever present smile, wide.

"Yeah, so pay attention. We're only gonna tell you once." Lovino spat.

"Mhmm! Our message is that Roxi has writers block! She's got it bad… Last night she spent two hours in front of her computer starring at a blank word document. Then she cried when she couldn't think of anything!" Antonio said somewhat sadly.

"Yeah, I took a look at what little she has written. She's got like 3 half written smuts, and a few updates that aren't done for her other stories, and quite a few half assed one-shots. She's really trying, but she's lost her muse." Lovino said, his frown deepening.

"But things are looking up! She is in fact writing this, but this was born of a rant she had with CorxCore (the one who writes all the PruCan on this account). Now to the advice!" Antonio said.

"Now, she thought of these, while reading some fanfics. And obviously they were crap. She went on a bitch range when she finished one. And so did I." Lovino said.

"Si.. It was pretty bad. We're not giving names or pointing fingers but it was really out of character…." Antonio said. "So we're here to tell you some of the biggest mistakes people make (including Roxi) and how to avoid them! Now, this isn't in the writing it's self, mostly character stuff."

"Like how people write me, like I'm a 12 year old girl! A 12 year old emo girl who pretends she has problems and cuts herself in an attempt to get attention! (No offence to people who really have issues in which they feel they must take it out on themselves. We're talking about the people who give you a bad name. Like the chick who wrote "My Immortal.")"

"Yeah, Lovi and I keep finding ones where he thinks I'm cheating and who goes and cuts himself… I don't like those… But, really if he thought I was cheating, he wouldn't take it out on himself. He would think I'm a bastard, and throw all my stuff on our lawn, and burn it, then watch the god father repressing his feelings." Antonio said as Lovino nodded in approval.

"Damn right! Bottom line, I'm a 23 year old man. I would be in collage or just getting out if I was a human. I'm not a 12 year old girl, and I should not be treated as such!" Lovino said, pouting.

"To avoid treating him (or me) like a girl just keep this in mind. "If I were a 23 year old, hot tempered man, how would I react in this situation?" It's not "What would /I/ do?" See? Now onto the next piece of advice!"

"This one's about her specialty… Smut. She's written about 30 smuts and rp'd who knows how many… Well over 100. She knows how to turn people on with her words. And she would like to talk about a few words, that you should never use. They will turn people off, and give them a bad mental image." Lovino said, his face slightly pink.

"Si! Never use the words 'Ass hole, Penis, Ass crack' or anything that has to do with going number 2. You have to remember what area this is, and using the wrong words can really gross people out, and turn them off. The whole idea of smuts is to be hot and well… Porn. If you want a realistic smut, we can give you one. You won't be pleased. At all. Really, gay sex is hard. There's no such thing as unplanned gay sex." Antonio said.

"Yeah, the day our sex is realistic and unplanned is the day Antonio gets pink eye or something. If you're not clean down there, not only is it gross, but unhealthy." Lovino said.

"Well, Lovi we're running out of time. We're gonna go, and you guys can drop us a review about your fanfic petpeeves~ We might come back and talk about them later. And once again, Miss Roxi says she's sorry for the lack of updates, but they'll be here soon!" Antonio said before the two of them left, and the spotlight went off.


	2. YOU MISSED THE IMPORTANT PART

A single spot light on an empty stage, where plenty of curse words and banging could be heard in the back. Then Lovino and Antonio appeared back onto the stage. Antonio was frowning, but more so in a sad way, while Lovino look absolutely livid. Antonio looked out, then back to Lovino then sighed.

"What the fuck." Lovino stated, gently "Is wrong with people?"

"Lovi... That's mean. To be fair, we should have given a second example…" Antonio trailed off, as Lovino shot him a glare.

"I don't give a fuck! You give one poor choice of word and everyone gets up in arms and starts being dicks!" Lovino snorted.

"They're not being dicks Lovi… They're just interpreting us wrong… We're sorry! Our choice of words were wrong! Er… Let's just get Roxi…."

"Yeah yeah… but I doubt she'll want to come out here. She's been on her laptop since she got back from school, trying write… She's not going to be happy once she sees how bad we fucked up…. So let's just try again…" Lovino said, seriously not wanting to bring this up with Roxi. He knows she'll throw a bitch fit.

"Right! We just wanted to say, that we have no problems with angst-y Lovi~ As sad as he makes me…. We just don't like people who give really dumb reasons, or make him react in a way that's girly! Believe it or not Lovi's quite manly~ So you just have to keep in mind of how a man would react! When men get dumped they normally act like nothing's wrong, until it eats at them and they blow up at someone~ Believe it or I've done that~ And so has Lovi! And yes. We dated other people, before we found each other~"

"Yeah… We don't go home and eat ice-cream and cry while watching chick flicks, or other girly things… I'm a man dammit…. So what if I get my ass fucked from time to time! I'm a man! I like monster trucks, guns, and horror movies! God dammit!"

"We also know that we can be manipulated to fit a story, not just by age but by gender! So if you really want us to act like girls, you can make us girls. Or if you want us to be cutters, please give a good back story, and a good reason~! We're terrible sorry that we weren't read right!"

"And I'm sorry none of you paid attention to the important part. I told you to pay attention dammit! The idea was "Hey, we're men, so unless you change us into woman, or something like that, please treat us as men!" It's not so much about the character but about the fact that we are indeed men."

"We really didn't mean to offend anyone. That's never our intention! Ever! And here's one more example about age and gender issues~ Roxi read a fanfic where we were both over 25 and with in 20 minutes of knowing each other I asked Lovi to be my boyfriend. That doesn't sound very realist to me. The story was great up until then though! So, just start with a date…. Not a commitment." Antonio said, with a sad smile.

"Yeah, well… Still." Lovino said

"Still what, Lovi?"

"Your mother!"

"Lovi that doesn't make any sense…."

"Shut up! In my world it does!"

"You have a world? Can I live there? Is everything as cute as you? Fusososos~~~"

"God.. You're an idiot…."


	3. Facts

The spot light on the stage, with red curtains went on and Antonio and Lovino stepped on the stage.

"Hola~" Antonio said smiling. "We're back~"

"And with some pet peeves that are more fact than opinion." Lovino said.

"Si, the one that really gets me mad is my last name..." Antonio started.

"Oh here we go again..." Lovino said rolling his eyes.

"Does no one even bother with the culture? Very rarely do I see people do it right! My full name is Antonio Fernandez-Carriedo! Fernandez-Carriedo is my official last name, but if you were to shorten to you go with Fernandez! Everyone's is like this. When you're born you're first last name is your father's last name and the second is your mother's. When a girl gets married she drops the second last name and the first becomes her second. So if I was a girl and Lovi and I got married I would be Anita Vargas-Fernandez. Not Vargas-Carriedo. So if you plan on shortening my last name, It's Antonio Fernandez." Antonio said, ranting.

"And speaking of names, we have another about our fem names." Lovino said.

"Si! You should try and keep the fem names so that they start with the same letter as the canon ones. And keep them the same culture. I ran into a fem!Spain rper who called her Antonette. Antonette is a French and Austrian name. When told this she said "I don't care~"."

"Si it's annoying. And now to mine. MY EYE COLOR." Lovino shouted.

"No need to shout Lovi..."

"NO! MY EYES ARE FUCKING GOLDEN BROWN. GOLDEN BROWN. NOT CHOCOLATE, NOT HAZELL, AND MOST CERTIANLY NOT FUCKING GREEN! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY LOOK GREEN? IF YOU THINK THEY'RE GREEN, DO YOU EVEN WATCH THE FUCKING SHOW? GOD DAMMIT!" Lovino shouted.

"Well you could call them hazell... When you were younger they looked smoky brown..."

"SHUT UP! GOLDEN DAMMIT."

"Yes dear... Well that's all for now~" Antonio said.

"Si." Lovino said calmed down. "Come on, Carriedo~"

"FERNANDEZ!"


	4. Censorship and other things

The spotlight on the stage goes on again, and Antonio and Lovino step out.

"We're back!" Antonio cried happily.

"Didn't expect us so soon, huh?" Lovino said smirking.

"Well we're back because we forgot some..." Antonio said his smile fading.

"Shut up! Don't tell them!" Lovino said giving him a smack.

"Owe, Lovi that hurt..." Antonio saud rubbing the back of his head.

"That's the point..."

"Well anyway! We forgot a pet peeve! Te quiero. For those of you who think, it means I love you, are wrong." Antonio said.

"Yeah, google Translate lies sometimes." Lovino sad giving a shrug.

"It's an easy mistake but te quiero means "I want you" while te amo means "I love you." In basic anyway, Te quiero can also mean I like you, or I love you but in a family setting. Like you tell your mom "Te quiero" but your lover "Te amo". See? It really is an easy mistake to make." Antonio said happily.

"Yeah, it really is, but try to avoid it."

"Is that it Lovi?"

"I think... But we better be sure..." He pulls out 'ROXI'S LIST OF PET PEEVES' "Let's see... 'Men acting like preteen girls' check 'Smut words' check 'Bastard's last name'- " Lovino said

"Does it really say bastard?" Antonio asked, looking at the list. "Well look at that it does."

"Anyway... 'Fem names' 'Eye color'.. Check check"

"Oh and Lovi it turns out you're eyes used to be green~" Antonio said cheerily.

"Blah blah blah. Shut it. They're not anymore, so people should just say golden brown." Lovino snapped

"But green isn't wrong-"

"Shut up! 'Spanish' And um... Ah, here we go. I liked this one~ Did you guys know that this bastard is kind of a jerk? Yeah that's right. He's pretty rude."

"Am not! That I know of..."

"'He doesn't mean to be. He just says stuff he shouldn't' Although thinking about it, most of you already seem to know that so that was pretty pointless..." Lovino said trailing off.

"Oh! I know! I'll share a fan one! I forget who said it, but the pet peeve of over using our 'noises' like 'Chigi' and 'Fusososo'. Don't make it look like you're forcing them in, e stubble with them~"

"Now we're done." Lovino said stowing the list. "We'll be back next time Roxi gets mad about something."

"WAIT WAIT!" Antonio said loudly. "Lets talk about the censor thing!"

"Oh yeah! That thing pisses me off! If you didn't already know FF is taking down things that are too erm.. Mature. Not just smut, but violence, and anything of the nature. And to top it off, they're considered an Anti Yaoi/Yuri thing. Or so we hear. But the yaoi/yuri thing might just be gossip. I mean it's just stupid! The company is American based, and I believe America is all about _not _censoring things. I mean, I guess I get the sex thing.. But why not just start asking for ages, and you have to be a certain age to post and read certain things?"

"Si! It's dumb, because as said by Mark Twain, 'Censorship is like telling a man he cannot have a steak because a baby cannot chew it.' It's rather dumb." Antonio said.

"So what do you guys think about the censoring of FF? Is it good or bad?" Lovino asked

"We think it's bad, but you guys might think it's awesome." Antonio said

"Well now we're done."

"Adios!" And they went off stage.


	5. So we lost Antonio and Lovino

The single spot light hit the stage, the velvet curtains stood proudly. A few moments went by and nothing happens. Then! The curtain open slightly and Alfred came out on stage. He smiled and gave a small wave.

"Hi, I'm Alfred, as you know. Well since other than Spain and Romano I'm one of Roxi's favorites so she had me run this little 'show' as she calls it. The reason I'm running this so totally has nothing to do with my so not real love for acting and theatre. Nope not at all. But yeah… Normally our stars Antonio and Lovino are out here but…. We can't find them. I mean we as in me Gilbert, Francis, Eduard, and Sadiq.

"We looked about everywhere. They just… Disappeared! Into thin air! I BET THEY WERE KIDNAPPED BY GHOSTS! OH NO! ROXI'S SUPER OLD DESKTOP FROM 2002 IS HAUNTED! AHHH I MISS THE LAAAAP TOOOOP" Alfred yelled as he ran off stage.

After a few moments, a disgruntled Eduard comes on straiten his glasses.

"Excuse Alfred's outburst, but yes Antonio and Lovino are indeed missing. Francis and Gilbert are doing all they can to find them while Sadiq, Alfred and I are holding down the fort here. And before you ask, we have yet to tell Roxi. While she has a laid back, go with the flow attitude, when she gets mad, she gets _mad_. So no one wants that.

"Well to give you all a little something I hand this over to Sadiq who will give you an update on Roxi's work." Eduard said then left the stage.

Sadiq came on his mask a little askew. "Yo! So, I'm here just to let you guys in the loop. _'Of Mice and Men' _will be updated in the future but for now is on hold. _'Monster' _will be updated irregularly. _'Just What You're Looking for 2'_ will be updated once she's gets out of her smut slump. And if the first one gets taken down she's just gonna re upload it. She's got a few one shots in the making, such as some stuff about ghosts-"

"GHOOOOOSTS!" was heard backstage

"Ghosts, psychic stuff, 2p!talia, genderbender, and maybe some GerIta even. Hopefully some more me in her stuff~" Sadiq said. "Well if you guys have an idea of where Antonio and the brat might be leave a review!" And on that note Sadiq left the stage.


	6. More stuff

Paste your d A single spotlight on the stage goes up, and Antonio and Lovino come out from the velvet curtains. Both of them had a light blush on their face.

"Hey~" Antonio said. "Miss us? Sorry we weren't here last time!"

"Yeah..." Lovino said

"We were.. Uh... Doing... Uh..." Antonio said blushing.

"We were fucking. In a closet. It was hot." Lovino said simply.

"Yeah that!" Antonio said. "Anyway we have some more pet peeves!" He pulled out the list, unrolling it, the paper rolling off the stage. "Alright! Lets start with 'Summary'"

"When you post a story, please make sure your summary is using proper grammar. Otherwise people will think your whole story isn't using good grammar. So, spell your shit right." Lovino said said

"Right! Now onto Roxi's most hated pet peeve!"

"Anonymous flames." Lovino spat. "They're gross. When people log out to leave a flame so we can't respond. It's cowardly. If you got a issue, grow some balls and leave us a name. If you leave a name we respect you, don't and you're a coward."

"Well... That's a little mean Lovi..." Antonio said.

"Do I care?!" Lovino snapped.

"Aw, is Lovi still cranky Franny caught us making love~?" Antonio said wrapping his arms around him, earning grumbles out of the other. "But to our last one! P.O.V switching. Now, it's cool to switch it up around in a chapter but don't be going;

Lovi P.O.V

That fucking bastard, hugging me! "oi let me go!"

"Aw but you're so cute~"

Toni P.O.V

"CUUUTE~" *smack*

Lovi POV

Bastard!

Toni POV

CUTE

Lovi POV

BASTARD.

"See how annoying it is? Just, don't do it, it makes it hard to read. Now are we done here?" Lovino asked

"Si~ Sorry about the lameness of this chapter. Roxi is having some writing issues. Lots, she's trying so hard to write this cross over story, but its not really working. So hopefully she'll have something up soon! Until next time!" And with that they left. ocument here...


End file.
